Taxing Times In Silicone Valley

March 3, 2002

Lynda and I are always looking for things to do together that I can write a column about and hopefully claim as a tax deduction.  So when I heard about Sexpo, “The health, sexuality and lifestyle expo”, I just knew I had to drag Lynda along. Sexpo was just one of the events on at [...]

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Help Is Just A Coffee Away

February 24, 2002

I often get letters from my readers, asking what else I do besides writing humour columns.  “Hey, moron”, they say.  “You obviously don’t make any money from your so-called ‘humour’, so where do you get it from?” It’s obviously keeping them awake at night (that or the drugs they’re on), so I tell them I’ve [...]

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Doing Time For Your Valentine

February 17, 2002

Well, Valentine’s Day is over for another year, and life is slowly returning to normal. The much-adored red roses, now dead, have finally been thrown out (although, looking at the new batch of TV shows coming out, they may well reappear on, “What’s that smell?”)  Those who spent the day drowning their sorrows (there wasn’t [...]

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New Kids On The Web

February 10, 2002

Just when you thought scientists couldn’t make any more discoveries to benefit mankind, they come up with something new that proves there’s no end to their ingenuity (or at least their supply of beer). Last week I broke the story on how farmers in Queensland, Australia were growing miniature vegetables for use as concealed weapons, [...]

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Turning The Vege-tables On Criminals

February 3, 2002

As a humour columnist I often feel responsible for keeping my readers up to date on what’s happening in the world.  Lucky for me I’ve learned to live with this feeling, to the point where I can just sit on the couch and watch TV until it goes away. But I’ve just read a disturbing [...]

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Room For Some Expert Advice

January 6, 2002

I used to think Australians were a pretty happy, worry-free bunch.  On television we’re always laughing and joking around, and every problem can be solved by winning the lottery or drinking lots of beer. But after flicking through a few magazines in my dentist’s waiting room, I now realise a lot of Australians have problems [...]

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Going Coastal

December 30, 2001

Christmas is over, and you know what that means.  Yes, it’s time to pack a couple of suitcases, jump in the car and get away from it all (or, if your house is full of relatives who invited themselves over for the holidays, away from them all). Of course, the big question is where to [...]

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Christmas Turkey

December 23, 2001

There’s just two more sleeps until Christmas, and you’re sitting in the lounge room spending quality time with your family — sipping egg nog, listening to carols, and hoping the pile of presents under the tree won’t cause an avalanche. Of course once you wake up you’ll realise there aren’t any presents under the tree [...]

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Estate of mind

December 16, 2001

A couple of weeks ago Lynda and I went to a property auction.  No, we weren’t selling our house (we rent), and we certainly couldn’t afford to buy one (we rent).  But friends of ours were selling theirs, and so we went along for moral support (and to help them spend the money). At first [...]

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Poll Position

October 14, 2001

I just found the most exciting thing in my mailbox since the last Readers Digest “you don’t have a hope in hell of winning, but we’ll keep sending you this crap until you fake your own death” Sweepstake Offer.  It’s “Election 2001″, The Australian Electoral Commission’s official guide to the federal election. You see, those [...]

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